


Anywhere I Go There You Are

by rafaelbaseball



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: (in spirit), Angst, Boyfriends in love, Canonical Character Death, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Meet the Family, Memories
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-21
Updated: 2019-03-21
Packaged: 2019-11-26 22:20:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18186377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rafaelbaseball/pseuds/rafaelbaseball
Summary: “You always wanted just two things for me. You wanted me to become a judge and you wanted me to be happy, to fall in love and be happy. I’m still not a judge but I think it would please you to know I fell in love."Rafael takes Sonny to his abuelita's grave for the first time for an overdue introduction.





	Anywhere I Go There You Are

**Author's Note:**

> Fill for the following prompt on Tumblr:
> 
> Prompt #6. “Shh, you’re safe. I won’t let you go.” Also, I read this about Raul and his grandmother in a very old interview recently and I was wondering if you could include it in some way: "'I fell asleep on her lap, as she was stroking my head,' Esparza says. 'When I woke up, she said, `You haven't done that since you were a child. I could die tomorrow a happy woman.'" Thanks!
> 
> It's actually quite old and I didn't quite work in the line of dialogue but I had this specific scenario in mind then remembered the latter part of the prompt. I hope it came out okay, it's the first bit of writing I've managed to do in almost two weeks!

“Is this stupid? I feel stupid.” Rafael has one foot out the door of the car but his other taps against the floor. 

“It’s not stupid,” Sonny tells him, pulling the keys from the ignition and letting out a soft sigh. “But if you don’t want to do this today, I understand. I can wait right here.”

“I want to do it,” Rafael says, fiddling with the petal of a lily nestled within the bouquet in his lap. “The anniversary today, it should be today. It’s long overdue.” He nods firmly, as if having come to an agreement with himself. “Okay. Let’s go.”

Their ten minute walk is spent in silence. Rafael grips the bouquet a little too tightly in his hands, the crinkling if plastic is comparatively deafening but Sonny says nothing, makes no comment at all. He knows how important this is, how important it is to Rafael. Instead, he slips his own hands in his pockets, keeping in pace with Rafael as they walk past rows of graves at Saint Raymond’s until they reach the one they’d come to see. 

Sonny trails a little behind as Rafael comes to a stop at the foot of the grave. After a moment, Rafael sets the flowers done by the gravestone, lingering there before straightening back up. 

“ _Abuelita_ , it’s me, Rafi. I know I haven’t come to visit in awhile, I’m sorry about that. But I hope you’ll forgive me when I tell you who I brought with me.”

Rafael glances over his shoulder, nodding for Sonny to join him. When Sonny hesitates, Rafael reaches for his hand, intertwining their fingers and offering a reassuring squeeze. 

“ _Abuelita_ , this is Sonny.”

Sonny lifts his free hand in an awkward wave at the gravestone as he shifts on his feet. His palm is starting to sweat, Rafael can feel it. “Uh, hi, Mrs. Diaz.”

“Oh.” Rafael shakes his head, tapping a finger against his ear. “You don’t have to say anything. She can’t hear you.” Sonny narrows his eyes, mouth opening to reply, but Rafael cuts him off, smirking. “I landed a good one, didn’t I? You’d like him. You’d laugh at him.”

“Hey, what?”

Rafael presses a kiss to Sonny’s knuckles. “In a good way, I promise. Isn’t that right, abuelita? I know he’s not exactly what you had in mind for me but I still think he’d grow on you faster than he has on _mami_. She did move on to calling him Dominick, though, she was calling him Detective for four months.”

“Five,” Sonny corrects. “Five months. She’s relentless. I think it’ll take another five years before she calls me Sonny.”

“She says it’s a child’s name,” Rafael says somberly. “I know what you’d say if you were here. ‘ _Pobrecito_ Sonny, why don’t you stand up to my daughter?’ And he would— oh, he’s doing it even now, he’s five different shades of red.” Rafael laughs when Sonny huffs and jabs an elbow into his side. “Yeah, you’d like him. He’d be Sonnycito in no time.”

He pauses, biting down on his lip before gently loosening his hand from Sonny’s and lowering himself to one knee. Rafael rests a hand on the top of the gravestone, rubbing the pad of his thumb over the smooth marble he’d insisted on paying for because even in death, his _abuelita_ deserves the best. 

“You always wanted just two things for me. You wanted me to become a judge and you wanted me to be happy, to fall in love and be happy. I’m still not a judge but I think it would please you to know I fell in love. I’m happy. Sonny, he makes me happier than you’ve probably ever seen me. I wish I could spend all night telling you about him, all the things he does for me, all the ways he makes me feel safe and loved. Do you remember a few Christmas Eves ago, I had a little too much rum in my eggnog and I fell asleep with my head in your lap. You sang to me, you were stroking my hair, and I remember being so content. I felt like that was exactly where I was supposed to be. On Christmas morning, you told me you didn’t even need a gift, that you were so happy I did that because I hadn’t done it since I was a kid. You said you could die a happy woman.”

A rogue tear escapes down Rafael’s cheek and he brushes it away as he sniffles, ducking his head for a moment to collect himself. Sonny’s hand falls to his shoulder, a steadying touch that encourages Rafael to take in a deep, long breath before letting out a slow exhale. 

“Anyway. That’s what being with him is like. I could die a happy man for knowing what it means to be loved by him.” He turns his head to look up at Sonny, a ghost of a smile playing at the corners of his mouth as he notes his boyfriend’s trembling bottom lip and watery eyes. “I love him. I wish you could know him.”

Sonny swallows hard, nodding. “I wish that, too,” he says, his voice just barely above a whisper. 

Rafael’s smile grows a little wider and he takes another breath then rises to his feet. “I won’t take so long to visit next time,” he says, pressing his fingers to his lips then to the top of the gravestone. “I love you, _abuelita_. I miss you.”

Clearing his throat, Rafael takes a few quick steps away with his back turned the grave. He stops to kiss Sonny’s cheek, letting his forehead come to rest on Sonny’s shoulder for just a few short seconds before he’s on the move again. “Let’s get back to the car.”

“I’m right behind you.”

But not quite. 

Sonny stares at the gravestone for a moment, his eyes raking over Catalina Diaz’s name etched into the marble. 

“I love him, too,” he says softly. “I’m taking care of him, we’re taking care of each other. Just want you to know that. I have every intention of living up to all the things he just said about me.”

“Sonny?”

Rafael calls to him from half a yard away, watching curiously as Sonny crosses himself then turns with a smile. 

“Coming.” He jogs to close the short gap between them, wrapping an arm around Rafael’s waist. 

“What were you doing back there?”

“Nothing, really,” he says, brushing his lips against Rafael’s temple. “Just making a promise.”


End file.
